The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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