he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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