Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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