That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she peed on how many people?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
