I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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