Screwed.edu
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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