I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize