Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
