there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
