I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
