wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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