Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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