so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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