So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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