the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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