Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
