toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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