Christians are straight up FREAKS
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
