My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think my moral compass just broke
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
