Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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