There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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