nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
