Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
where are my eyebrows?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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