I saw his package. It spoke to me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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