Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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