is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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