the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
