How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
