i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
