i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
