I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
