I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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