butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
