what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
