Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
