Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize