i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
