If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
