you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
