Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
