We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its not stalking. its research.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
