Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
