you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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