Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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