i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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