worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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