i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
