If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize