you lied. pity sex is amazing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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