people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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