Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
