i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
