Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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