I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
