I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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