Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
