she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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