it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
