Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
