She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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