I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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