I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
