Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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