What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
