also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
