It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
