Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
