I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
