"it" just moved
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
